I’m not going to give you photos.
I’m going to give you the truth.
As I was editing, I was hyper-focused. But not on the image, rather the feeling of the moment. I felt completely immersed, and could relate to what I captured. I could feel the hurting joints of an elderly lady as she was limping through the old town of Lisbon, I could feel the stress of musicians concentrating on hitting every note, and I could feel the pulling love between partners sitting on a bench holding each other. Without even realizing it, I was hungry for the feelings I once lost. This has guided my hand to edit the pictures in a way that didn’t only make them look pretty, but to accurately and powerfully represent the feelings in it. To really break the fourth wall, and completely pull you in. To me, this is what photography means, this is what is real.
When I ask myself the question; “why do I love photography?,” the one and only word that comes to mind is feeling. A little over three years ago, I went through depression, and as a result of it, I lost the ability to emotionally feel anything for quite a long time. I became like a blank piece of paper, just numb, dissociated, not finding beauty or joy in anything. Often the world felt virtual, but this is exactly how I really found myself in photography. As I was taking my camera on walks with me to clear my head and brought the photos home to edit them, I noticed something.
Why music and events? It sets the tempo. It’s loud and big enough to lock all the other noise out, and sets the stage to synchronize my heartbeat with the artist. It’s messy. In a world where most photography is about getting one perfect shot where the person in focus looks like a statue, I embrace the mess. I want the motion blur to make you feel the vibration of bass in your chest, the roar of the crowd, and the atmosphere of the venue. When everybody locked in on the performance is in a flow state, I’m a time thief. I steal 1/100th of a second and turn it into art, so everyone can keep it and feel it forever.
That is why I’m not going to give you standard photos. I’m going to give you the truth.